DEAR DEIDRE: I’M caring for my mum, who is 81 and has dementia.
Everyone asks how she is but nobody asks how I am.
If they did, I’d tell them I’m struggling. I’m a 55-year-old divorced man and I’m Mum’s main carer.
We also have paid carers who call in twice a day.
She’s not too bad during the day but if she wakes up at night she can be unpredictable.
She has hit me in the past and she even spat at me last week.
Get in touch in Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
My sister is younger, with a family of her own, and she visits us, but she tends to moan about the things she feels I’m not doing, like taking Mum out for walks every day.
I feel exhausted.
For more advice from Dear Deidre
No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.
DEIDRE SAYS: Many carers feel their needs and feelings are sidelined.
Tell your sister you need more support. Explain what is happening and ask her to take over at least some nights so that you can get some respite.
You are doing an amazing job but as your mum’s condition worsens, a full-time care setting may be kindest for you all.
Find support through dementiauk.org (0800 888 6678).